Voice, Space, Feeling and Belonging are some of my Get ready for the Holidays tools.
Sometimes the holidays are amazing and we get to spend them exactly how we want....
And sometimes we have family or friends we don't really want to see but feel obligated to or feel pressured to see and be around.
Before I break down what each of these tools are I want to offer....
You have a voice.
You have a right to take up space.
You have a right to your feelings.
And I also want to offer, that you are an adult and no longer a child (even if those who pressure you want to put you back in the child place). You always get to choose and if you are invited to a space that will re-traumatize you, you can always say no. No for you. No for your kids. No for your family.
And if it's too late this time to make those changes this year....these are great tools to help you ground and find safety amid the triggers.
It is not uncommon to be around family and think and feel the following, or a version of the following, are true:
Your voice doesn't matter.
You are not allowed to take up space, except what your family has already told you is acceptable.
Your feelings don't matter, just make everyone else happy.
You belong only as far as you do the things you've always done.
Tool 1 - Awareness (Top Down)
What is your limiting belief about each of these? And how does that limiting belief feel in your body? (This is Top Down and Bottom Up work)
I'd encourage you to gain awareness around this thought. Do some thought and feeling downloads. Pay attention to what circumstances bring these thoughts and feelings up most. What do you want to believe and feel instead? This is helpful for when it comes up, so you can know logically what you want to think instead.
Here are some thoughts that are also true. (You can come up with your own version too). Do they Feel true to you?
It's not true that you don't have a voice....You do have a voice and what you have to say matters and is valid.
You are a beautiful human who has a right to take up space just because you are you and you get to decide how much and when you want to take up space, not your family.
You have a right to your feelings, even if they are different than everyone else's and even if it means you disagree. You aren't responsible to make everyone happy. You can't anyway.
You belong just because you are you and your belonging is not conditional on what you do. And maybe you don't want or need to belong in this space anymore.
The next set of tools are super helpful because, as we gain awareness and can understand that the new thoughts are logical and feel true at times, it takes practice to fully believe them and for them to be integrated into our bodies so they feel true. Getting into our bodies helps solidify new beliefs and feelings from within.
Tool 2 - Embodiment Exercises (Bottom Up)
If you know what the thought is but you don't believe it yet, or you can't remember it in the moment.... always check in to see if you need to ground first and then:
Voo exercise for your voice.
Constriction and Expansion exercise for your right to take up space.
*Subtle Body grounding for your right to have feelings. (Helps your body know it's safe to feel).
*Breath Prayer grounding for you belong.
*These are the grounding exercises - so no need to ground first.
You can try all of these or just one at a time as the limiting beliefs come up.
What is your body telling you after you do an exercise? What is your mind telling you?
I'd love to hear how the exercises go and when they are most helpful for you, so if you'd like to share, reply to this email or DM me anytime.
You Matter. Your Healing Matters. You Are Worth It!
P.S. I started a podcast. Check it out!
P.S.S. I will be opening up some spots on my calendar over the next 2 weeks for a $99 embodiment session. Check out my calendar link on my website on Monday for the details.