I like to move in the winter, but as Spring gets here...I like to move even more.

I love the warmer weather and not needing to take a coat everywhere...

I love the smells...

I love the renewed energy I feel...

I love getting outside more! (This is me rappelling down into the Black Canyon this weekend. I enjoyed time with friends, my husband, hot springs, rafting and even did a cold plunge in the Colorado River.) Thank you Spring!!

And......I've been moving so much that yesterday got away from me....So.....you are not crazy, "wacky, wonderful Wednesday" comes to you this week on Thursday.

Today, let's talk about this energy to move .....in sympathetic terms.

This energy to get moving is sent from our sympathetic system.

Some if it is involuntary, it's the energy that helps our bodies function naturally and without any thought or control on our part....

And some of it is extra energy. For me it's because of the thoughts I have around spring and the ways I get outside and engage with this energy in invigorating, active ways.

Are you feeling this extra energy?

If not, do you want to?

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Today I want to share the Polyvagal Tool of "Calm Up"

This tool works when we are in Flee or Fight...

(And it can also work if we don't feel any energy - so maybe we are more in Freeze - And it also works if we are in Fawn).

But since we are talking sympathetic...let's stay with Flee and Fight for a moment. (If you want more info for the other 2, please DM or respond to this email).

The Goal of us regulating our nervous system when we are in fight or flee is NOT to shut off the energy, (that would send us into freeze), but rather to engage with our sympathetic energy in a way that helps us move up the polyvagal ladder to regulation in ventral.

This idea of "Calm Up" might seem weird or "wacky" (see what I did there?..hehe) because usually, when we are in fight or flee we think we need to calm down.

The concept of "Calm Up" is that we are seeking to pay attention to our sympathetic energy - the energy that you have while in fight or flee -

We pay attention to the energy in a way that we can change it from an overwhelming flood - one that feels out of control - and into an energizing flow that can move up our system into connection and calm with ourselves and others.

Ok, so now you might be thinking, sounds nice, but how.....

Here are 5 Ways to "Calm Up" in regards to past trauma triggers....

**And as just a side note....We first do any of these retrospectively, meaning after we have gone into fight or flee, and then eventually we can catch ourselves while in fight or flee and use these tools to get out of it and then we can start to catch ourselves as our system is starting to go there and we can choose to let our nervous system go there or not. **It's a process, so please don't beat yourself up if you can't do this in the moment.

As we start, let's think of a situation where you felt pulled into survival Fight or Flee Energy....

1. Notice the sensations
2. Take a still shot image and see how to change the movement.
3. Notice the colors in either the sensations or the image and consider how to change those.
4. What is a statement you'd make about this situation and can you change that?
5. Go back to the sensations and see how you can engage with those sensations to move up "Calm UP" to regulation.

Ok, so let me give you an example for how this would work....

I remember my son one day calling me out on acting like a little kid. (Which I totally was, he was right).

So if we go to notice sensations.....my muscles tightened in my chest, shoulders and upper arms. I leaned forward, took an inhale, filled up my chest and my arm moved up with my one finger pointing at him, with all the energy swelling in my throat, ready to give him a lecture....

I was in total defense mode.

From describing my sensations, I have a still shot of that image....And a way to change the movement is to turn that finger I am pointing at my son, and point it at myself...

That changed image makes me laugh a little, especially if I imagine myself doing it slowly and how my son would have laughed at that.....I use the energy in that laugh to see things differently. Maybe I can see how I really am acting like a kid. I can use the laugh to give myself grace if I notice shame wants to creep in...

If there is a color in the image or my sensations I could change that. It could go from the dark gray color I remember to white, bright sunlight coming from the window near us....

The statement thought I had was, "How dare you." Maybe, I could believe it's also true that..."My son can share what he thinks." "My son is brave." "I never would have dared say that as a kid, even if I was right, I'm so glad he has the space to be so courageous." "How perceptive of you, son."

When I go back to those sensations....I can see how engaging with those sensations - by moving differently, bringing light with color and in my new way of viewing this moment - I get clarity on my part and how I want to react and view my son.

My physical body relaxes as I laugh and turn my finger towards me, my interaction with my son changes.

I don't shut the energy down but rather, use it to connect with myself and my son.

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Now, I did lecture my son that day. I did wave my finger in his face. He walked away shoulders slumped and I felt I powerful and in control as "the parent". I was in defense and it took me quite a long time after to realize what I'd done.

AND...there is healing and grace in apologizing and sharing my part and attuning to my son and the truth he saw. Apologizing is part of regulating too.

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I'd love to hear your experiences with "Calm UP" and invite you to share them with me through a DM or in response to this email.

You can also journal and/or share your experience with someone you trust.

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Remember, ❤️

You Matter. Your Healing Matters. You Are Worth It!

P.S. My latest podcast dropped today as well. You can check it out Here.

**Rappelling photo credit goes to my husband, Merrill. Thx honey!