I am a Trauma Informed Embodiment Coach. Healing is possible for women who have trauma. Big T, Little T, Complex, Sexual, Religious, any form of trauma. Check out my content and ways we can work together.
It's Hug Holiday - When Do You Like Hugs?
So much info can be given in a hug…
So many hugs are given and received with pure support and love as the motivator.
When this is the case, it’s beautiful, healing, connecting and releases all the good oxytocin hormones that our bodies, hearts and minds need and thrive on.
But what if a hug is not all that?
What if…
You don’t really want to hug or be hugged.
And yet…
You offer or receive a hug because you feel you have to….
Because it’s the standard in your community, your family, your social group…
Because it’s expected….
Because the other person will feel bad if you don’t…
I want to offer that if these are the reasons you are giving or receiving a hug, you can stop the hugging.
A hug does not have to be at your expense any more.
When a hug is forced or a have too, no one benefits.
It is damaging.
It is taking from another person.
There is no beauty, no love, it's not connecting and zero oxytocin hormones are being released during that type of a hug.
In fact, the hormones released are stress hormones that can dysregulate our nervous system and cause us to second guess our ability to gauge safety.
If you, your child or a loved one, would rather not hug someone, trust your gut and don’t make a fake connection or a fake show of love or support.
And then when you do offer or receive a hug, it is a choice as a willing participant.
Willing to appreciate and receive strength from a hug instead of you or the other person becoming a stiff board with no feeling, just to make it through a hug.
Have you felt the difference?
I know I have.
A couple days ago, I saw a friend I haven’t seen in a while. She’s been very ill, had surgery, had complications, and now she’s finally home. My heart has been aching for her and when I saw her, we both reached for a hug. It was a good, long, healing hug and neither of us wanted to let go. We said so much to each other in that hug and it was powerful and connecting.
I can think of other hugs…ones where I went stiff or the person I was hugging went stiff.
Those are moments to self confront.
To see my part in the disconnect. To own where I need to use my voice. Where I can heal. And where I can give space for others to self confront and heal as well. And know that their part is not mine and I don’t have to take their part on myself.
On this Hug Holiday…..
I want to honor the space a hug offers for self confronting.
I also want to honor the type of hug my friend and I experienced. I’ll definitely sign up for more of those type of hugs.
When do you like hugs?
If you want to talk about it, reach out, I'll help you through it.
Hi! I'm Cami
I am a Trauma Informed Embodiment Coach. Healing is possible for women who have trauma. Big T, Little T, Complex, Sexual, Religious, any form of trauma. Check out my content and ways we can work together.
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