I am a Trauma Informed Embodiment Coach. Healing is possible for women who have trauma. Big T, Little T, Complex, Sexual, Religious, any form of trauma. Check out my content and ways we can work together.
The Rhythms of the Sea: We Can't Stop an Ocean Wave But Trauma Can Stop Our Own Energy Cycles
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I love to hear the ocean. To just sit and watch the waves and listen as they crash into the sand. There is a rhythm within the waves that is calming to my eyes and to my ears. It's a rhythm that is expected, majestic and untamed. I can't stop a wave from crashing, even if I wanted to. The power of a wave could be frightening in a storm, but when it's a beautiful day and I'm sitting in the sun, watching the waves, the power of it is inspiring. Watching the waves complete their energy cycles over and over again......the rhythm of these endless cycles are nourishing for my soul. I never get bored. I can watch them for hours. (Much longer than my little kids ever wanted me too). And I love to play in them, but for today, let's just talk about watching and listening to them.... I often refer to processing emotions or our trauma, as energy cycles similar to a wave of the ocean. The difference is that unlike a wave, we can stop the energy from completing or crashing. In the ocean its beautiful but within our body, even using the word crashing can feel like too much. For me, the idea of completing feels better and more attainable. And I have learned, that the rhythm of letting my emotions and trauma complete almost always feels like a frightening storm.....At least at first. Which is why I used to always stop my emotions (in most relationships) or sometimes let them all come out in a massive crash that was too much, more like a scary storm (in other relationships). And as a side note, those massive crashes are actually, often, also used as a way to stop the true cycle from completing. They feel productive but they mask the actual emotion or trauma we need to feel to move forward. And knowing that I was scared and that it is normal and ok to be scared offered a huge shift for me. The first things to help my body, mind, and heart be ok with the idea that completing an energy cycle was good and seeking a regular rhythm might be helpful for both processing emotion and trauma, have been to....
We often want to just stop doing those things when we see what we are doing. And then we get discouraged and beat up on ourselves because we can't stop doing them. But when our avoiding or disconnecting is due to trauma, we can't physiologically stop doing them until we slow things down a bit and gently, kindly, get back into our bodies. This helps to rewire our nervous system because we offer our survival instincts safety. Then once we are able to notice what we are doing and what is happening in our bodies somatically during that "doing" (the thing we want to just stop)..... Then we have choice again. We have separated from our survival enough to actually be able to choose a different way of doing things and looking at things. Then we are at a place to finally let the energy cycle complete. So the next time you find yourself disconnecting from yourself by...... projecting.......bracing.......blaming........avoiding......dissociating......spacing out....... buffering with drugs, alcohol, shopping, overeating, over consuming, social media...... a compulsive behavior......wishing.......pretending.......denial..... I invite you to notice what you are trying not to feel, think about, or process.... We disconnect from ourselves and keep this disconnection through patterns we create that keep us safe and ones we often don't even notice are connected to our disconnection. Perhaps we.... try to not care or actually don't care....... try to not have needs or shove our needs down so far we don't know we actually do have needs....... don't notice self or only notice self......... are not able to track others well or track them too well and often at our expense...... often have tight muscles or feel constricted and contracted a lot.... intellectualize.......rationalize.......deflect.......self-criticize...... make things up......pretend......people please....are perfectionistic...... (what else would you add? this is not a comprehensive list) So the next time you notice yourself disconnecting from yourself in any of these ways and trying to stay disconnected.... (And you can notice it after the fact, it doesn't have to be in the moment)..... I invite you to notice when you are doing this. Is there a pattern? What was happening? Can you give yourself some grace and honor that your nervous system felt it was necessary.... And can you get into your body and see what was happening (or still is happening) within when you disconnected? You can do this. These 3 things seem small but can be really hard to do. And that's ok and makes sense. Your nervous system just wants to keep protecting you. If you need help, please reach out. I'd love to help. Often we need help to see our patterns or just have them reflected back to us. Remember, ❤️ You Matter. Your Healing Matters. You Are Worth It! P.S. If you missed my 3 Day Challenge to Get Into Your Body you can find them in my Instagram Highlights Or I have Day 2 on my podcast for this week. |
Hi! I'm Cami
I am a Trauma Informed Embodiment Coach. Healing is possible for women who have trauma. Big T, Little T, Complex, Sexual, Religious, any form of trauma. Check out my content and ways we can work together.
Not Every Tool Works Every Time Series Continued... This is the last week of this series. Over the course of this last month we’ve talked about when different bottom up tools don’t work and what to do. When.... Meditation Vagal Stimulation Noticing Sensations Don't Work. I also shared what to do when Trauma Education doesn’t work. And today, I’d like to share what to do when the Sideways tool doesn’t work. Sideways means the watcher. It’s how we view our trauma triggers in our body and all...
Not Every Tool Works Every Time Series Continued... Learning about trauma can be really helpful. In fact, trauma education is on my list of Top Down tools because it can explain why we act certain ways. When trauma takes over, we can understand that we are not crazy, we’re just reacting to what happened to us. And, even if other people don’t get it, learning about trauma can be a way to help them understand us better. But it’s important to remember, we’re not learning about trauma to convince...
Not Every Tool Works Every Time Series Continued... In the work of healing trauma, I often invite others (and myself) to notice different things in our body. To notice, means to pay attention. To turn inward. I share something and offer a noticing practice by asking you to notice what is happening in your body.... Or notice what is not happening.... And notice what your mind or heart might be doing.... And notice your breath.... This is a short list of things we could notice. And any of these...